“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” Zen Shin
Earlier this year, I wrote a blog for Scarymommy. In the blog, I shared my personal experience in dealing with others, on my own journey with secondary infertility. Social life and relating to the people around me (community) was one of the most difficult aspects of my infertility experience. It was difficult because I felt terrible about my myself and my inability to get pregnant again. Most of the time, when I was with others, it felt like there was an elephant in the room. Jealousy would rear its ugly head, coupled with pangs of guilt for even feeling jealous in the first place. Even if others didn’t know what my husband and I were going through, they knew, or so I thought they did. This subtext, that others saw me as “defective”, “less than”, and a “failure,” took over. In hindsight, I was able to see that most of it was a projection.
There is no doubt about it, infertility builds up walls, walls of shame, walls of fear, walls of “Will I ever be a mother?” Will I ever have a family? As isolating as it feels, the reality is that 1 in 6 couples are facing infertility.
Here is the full article on Scarrymommy. At the end of the article, I offer advice that addresses dealing with others as you move through the fertility journey.
Are you struggling with infertility? We have a number of programs that can help. Our Mind-Body Fertility Support Group starts soon. The Mind-Body Fertility Group will empower you with concrete techniques and coping mechanisms to reimagine your own capacity to conceive.
If you don’t live in Toronto, check out our Online Mindfulness Fertility Series.
Amira is a fertility counsellor in Toronto, Ontario. She works with individuals and couples who are struggling with infertility. Amira facilitates the Mind-Body Fertility Group at Mt. Sinai Hospital.
She is also a mother of three miracles.
For more information,
visit www.healinginfertility.ca
and find her on
Twitter and Instagram.
