For all of the beautiful mamas in the waiting!
Our FREEBIE has got you covered!
A free 15 minute intro call to explore how you can FEEL BETTER as you ebb and flow through your fertility journey.
As overwhelming as your fertility journey may seem at times, it is important to know that it won’t last forever. It’s called impermanence. I know that it is a hard concept to grasp, especially while you are in the middle of the journey.
There are specific things you can do to reduce your stress levels and take action towards feeling better. By simply honing in on the things in your control, you will feel more empowered and in balance, prepared for whatever is to come. The more relaxed we can be in our bodies, the more relaxed we will be in our mind.
Things we can control
Scrolling
The struggle with fertility creates an unwavering mobilization to “fix the problem.” Part of this fixing and figuring out becomes a whole exploration on its own. You may feel a constant desire to research information related to your diagnosis or see what others have done to bring success. Everybody’s fertility journey is different. Some of the information we come across through the internet may not be applicable to your situation and can even trigger your own grief.
Mindlessly scrolling through social media sites can make you feel like the grass is greener on the other side. Perfectly curated Instagram feeds filled with pregnant women, babies and families are not going to make you feel better. We must pay attention to what we fill our minds with since what we absorb from the media may affect us harmfully. Thankfully, many of these media sites have functions that allow us to control what we want to see. If there is information you want to know ask your fertility doctor.
Trust
To harness trust means to believe in your own capabilities to get through this. Trust begins with yourself and then can extend to your treatment team and fertility clinic. Once you acknowledge and deal with the things you can control, you can use trust to address that which is out of your control. Positioning ourselves from a place of trust is far less stressful than constantly doubting.
Letting go, surrender and trust are words I use frequently in my counselling practice and support groups. When we can zoom out just a little bit, we create room for a bigger picture to emerge. This rarely happens when we are clenched so tight with all our might mentally and physically. Trust the journey, trust the process, but most importantly trust yourself.
Breathe
According to breathwork expert Dan Brule, “The breath is the link between the mind and body.” The moment we consciously focus on our breath, we naturally let go of busy thoughts. The breath can be used as an anchor during stressful times. Deep conscious breaths calm the body and refocus the mind. Through the breath we can elicit our bodies natural relaxation response. Breathe in trust, breathe out worry.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness can be defined as a moment to moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings and anything that is happening in the moment. A large aspect of mindfulness involves an acceptance to what is happening in the moment. Whether it is a thought or experience, bringing acceptance can actually change the way we feel.
Mindfulness also helps with emotional regulation. Instead of worrying about the results of a particular procedure, mindfulness allows us to acknowledge the concern and label it “worry” or “anxiety”; then hopefully we can shift our awareness to a more useful, present and productive state. As we shift into a mindful state, our physical bodies relax and open up.
There is no way to overcome or abolish fertility stress. It’s enmeshed into the experience. We can let it define us, question our capabilities and self- blame, or we can look at the upside and let it transform us to into a better version of ourselves.
Amira is a Social Worker in Toronto, Ontario. She works with individuals and couples who are struggling with infertility. Amira facilitates the Mind-Body Fertility Group, and Mindfulness Fertility Series. She is also a mother of three miracles.
