For most women facing Infertility, seeing another woman with a pregnant belly can be and often is an extremely difficult situation. That feeling of despair occurs as well when confronting a mom and baby; or young families in general.
These occurrences, planned or not, are well known triggers that commonly weave in and out of the narratives of almost all of my clients. I hear about this problem a great deal, probably as much as daily. I also remember these were major triggers for me when I was going through my own journey with secondary infertility.
I admire how some women who struggle with infertility are able to put their feelings aside and then plan a baby shower for a best friend. I also completely respect and understand those women who choose not to go to a baby shower, knowing it will be too painful.
These triggers and their trickle down effects can be feel overwhelming.
Mind-Body practices are available to support you through these triggering times. There are practices you can do each day to help alleviate the impact of the triggers; changing your relationship to them.
Using your subconscious mind and your perspective can help to change the way we process information. It can also help alter the way our body responds to stressful experiences.
Below is a practical technique you can try the next time you see a belly bump or new baby.
Read it, read it again and then reread! I hope it helps you like It helped her!
This is healing.
Whenever I see a new mother pushing a stroller, I get as close as I can.
I try to make eye-contact with the mom and I always take a peek at the baby. I do this intentionally.
The look of innocence and wonder opens my heart wide and I pretend to feel the universe smiling down on me.
Instead of feeling my heart drop from an infertility mindset and ‘not having’, I’ve been trying to turn these moments into a meditative practice.
I surrender and let go. I remind myself that everyone’s journey looks different.
I witness how I am hyper-attuned to pregnant women, mom’s with new babies and anything that screams family. This is only a reflection of how deep my desire is to be a mom. The universe is assisting me by showing me what I want and the direction I am going.
I take a deep breath and remind myself to be open and receive. I put my hand on my belly. I repeat to myself that I am enough just the way I am. I was also once an embryo.
I feel myself bloom inside. I notice the pang of excitement, while I acknowledge the sadness and grief. Things haven’t gone as I thought they would. Through this healing I create space for new possibilities.
I release any judgement I have toward myself about feelings of jealousy. I am human and my feelings are normal.
The next time you pass a pregnant woman or a new mom pushing a stroller, experiment with seeing it as a confirmation that your turn is on it’s way.
Trust the timing of your life and your journey. This is healing. This is your healing.
Amira is a Social Worker in Toronto, Ontario.
She works in private practice with individuals and couples who are struggling with infertility.
She is also a mother of three miracles.
Mindfulness for your fertility journey; you are not alone. Spring session.
Mind-Body Fertility Group.
