The first time you called, I could hear the tremble in your voice.
You told me it had been two years of trying to conceive and that you had never failed at anything twenty four times.
I explained to you that creating a life cannot fall into the category of pass or fail. It was difficult for you to hear.
I helped you get through your initial consultation at the fertility clinic.
And then your first monitored cycle, and the test results review appointment.
You told me that you had never been so nervous in your life. I helped to calm you down.
You went through three failed in uterine inseminations. Naturally, you were devastated.
Together we surrendered to the ups and downs. We noticed hopeful feelings and destructive ones. I encouraged you to spend most of your time in the present.
Together we processed what going through IVF would be like.
I helped you grieve,
I gave you hope,
I reminded you to breath.
You cried on the outside and
I cried on the inside.
Despite all your trepidation, you went through IVF.
When you called to tell me you were pregnant I was elated for you. You told me that you were afraid your body couldn’t carry and as happy as you felt, you were still scared. I told you that it was normal.
We met until you were 30 weeks pregnant. It was at that point that you had moved from “is this really happening to THIS IS HAPPENING!”
Although you were scared, you had been practicing surrendering for the last three years and now you had a rhythm.
Just in time for your baby.
Your story is a beacon of hope for women who think the possibility of a baby is an impossibility. You are resilience and hope personified.
Amira is a Social Worker in Toronto, Ontario. She works with individuals and couples who are struggling with infertility.
Amira facilitates the Mind-Body Fertility Group, and Mindfulness Fertility Series.
She is also a mother of three miracles.
