Last month the very first IVF baby Louise Brown turned 40 years old. Four decades of fertility advancements means we have a chance to look back and take stock of what we’ve learned about infertility and the journey to getting pregnant.
I believe that fertility is more than something that can be improved or detected through diagnostic testing and fertility treatments. As a Social worker and fertility therapist I believe it’s completing a journey to becoming present, alive, awake and whole.
I know this because I’ve been there. I struggled with my own secondary infertility journey nine years ago. The process was devastating and I felt completely out of control. My husband and I were lucky enough to conceive twins after our first round of IVF. When my children celebrated their second birthday, I committed my life to helping others with what I learned along the way. I started the Mind-Body Fertility Program to assist other people on their journey to become parents.
My private counselling practice focuses in on helping individuals change the way they think about fertility and create a fertile mindset. I don’t fully agree with the recent studies that claim women’s emotional state bares no impact on their ability to conceive. I believe when we find connections between our mind and our bodies, it has a power to impact our mood, resilience and perspective. Ultimately it alters our experience.
While struggling to conceive, it’s easy for our mind to look at the glass half empty, to drift to thoughts that we simply can’t get pregnant or that our fertility treatments will fail. My approach focuses on these thoughts and with breathing techniques to go deeper, below the fear. Through a balancing practice of letting go and holding on, the mind-body fertility framework gives us focus and helps us feel more empowered and in control.
The six-week Mind-Body Fertility Program runs for six consecutive weeks. Each week we focus on a different mind-body coping technique. We explore mindfulness, cognitive restructuring and self-hypnosis these modalities change our relationship to our experience. It puts individuals back in the driver seat in their own lives.
The Mind-Body Fertility Program is based on these five pillars:
- Openness & Flexibility: This is one of my favourite topics. There are so many emotions surrounding infertility. We want control and yet we have to let go. There is no doubt in my mind that fertility patients become more fruitful and balanced when they learn how to relax into their experience and become more flexible with the process. When we can let go of control and allow life to flow through us in a more flexible and open manner, we aren’t as resistant to certain obstacles as they arise in the journey. Letting go brings huge health benefits including emotional balance, acceptance and the ability to be truly present in ourselves.
- Self-Care: Letting go of negative feelings associated with infertility treatment is essential when trying to conceive. We need to take care of ourselves in order to ready our bodies to welcome new life. Many of us have forgotten how to take care of ourselves. Long days at the office, hectic home lives and high-pressure jobs can make it easy to ignore your body and set aside your own physical needs. Being kind to ourselves and nurturing the body can take you much farther. This includes eating, drinking and sleeping well. We need to be gentle with our own bodies.
- Connection: Infertility can feel isolating. Feelings of shame and inferiority lead us to pull back from friends and family, at a time when we need others the most. The truth is, you are not alone. Connecting with others who share your experience with infertility can restore the sense of normalcy as well as bring compassion and support back to your life when you need it the most.
- Beliefs: Our bodies hold an inner knowledge greater than what we are conscious of. We need to harness the belief that we are ok, we are deserving and that there is NO problem. Changing our mindset and inner belief about our own capabilities will take us further ahead.
- Getting in touch: How do you move your body? We need to take time every day to feel our own bodies and connect our minds to it. Feeling your breath and truly connecting to ourselves and the world around us. Our bodies have an inner wisdom and by being aware of its power can have a great effect.
Every fertility treatment is different and so is every cycle. 40 years of infertility advancements may have improved the technology but I believe its time to get back to the basics. Tuning into the mind-body connection and believing in our own power will make us more capable of becoming parents, because you are!
Amira is a Social Worker in Toronto, Ontario. She works with individuals and couples who are struggling with infertility. Amira facilitates the Mind-Body Fertility Programme at Mt. Sinai Hospital.
She is also a mother of three miracles. For more information,
visit www.healinginfertility.ca
and find her on Twitter and Instagram.
Join our upcoming Mind-Body Fertility Programme
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