As a fertility counsellor, one of the questions I often get asked is “how can I remain balanced and relaxed when dealing with the stress of infertility?” The answer is that one of the reasons infertility is so difficult, is because couples feel they have no control over the situation. In fact, many couples will end fertility treatment because it is so stressful. The good news is that there are things in your control that can empower you. One of them is how you respond to and process the experience.
There is not a better time to get in touch with your inner life, your inner landscape. Notice and release all the negative judgments about the situation. Here are some suggestions to creating some equilibrium.
- Finding your ally:If you pay close enough attention, you will notice that you have many different parts to your thinking process. If you are very quiet, and can get under the fear-based thinking, you will meet your ally. Your ally is on your side and will keep you grounded during this difficult time. It is your job to connect with this wiser part of yourself. Learn to trust your ally and as you do, this part will grow and guide you.
- Do something for others:
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” Steve Maraboli
Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own struggle that we forget that one of the best ways to feel better is to do something kind for some else. Reaching out to an old friend, helping a stranger on the street or spending an afternoon volunteering are a few ideas. When we are able to give to someone else, we cultivate compassion which often reverberates back to us. Karma baby! - Superimpose feeling balanced: What would it feel like to be more balanced? What would it feel like to let go of negative thoughts that aren’t serving you. Try superimposing a state of equilibrium. Even if it is just for a few moments, let your mind and body try it out. We need to know how it feels. Spend time in this place!
- Move your body: Every day make it a practice to move your body. Go for a long walk. Try a yoga class, go for a swim. When we move our bodies, the natural endorphins get released and we feel better.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor E. Frank
Remaining “balanced” and “relaxed” during the fertility journey may be different than how one would normally preconceive these states. It’s an active, restorative process of finding that space between the stimuli and our knee jerk response.
Amira is a Social Worker in Toronto, Ontario. She works with individuals and couples who are struggling with infertility. Amira facilitates the Mind-Body Fertility Group at Mt. Sinai Hospital.
She is also a mother of three miracles.
For more information,
visit www.healinginfertility.ca
and find her on Twitter and Instagram.
Registration is now open for the Fall Mind-Body Fertility Group.
