I found out my uterus was heart shaped after undergoing a hystroscopy. This is a prognosis procedure whereby the doctor puts a tiny camera into your uterus to detect any problems that may be impacting fertility. It had been almost a year of trying to conceive our second child and we had just received the formal diagnosis of secondary infertility. I already had one child, so my doctor felt there was little to no significance that my uterus was shaped abnormally. But, I didn’t believe him!
Googling images and looking up stories about abnormally shaped uteruses and the difficulties of conception can be scary. What I realized was that the shape of a uterus is on a continuum, and like everybody in this world, each of us is unique. I constantly would seek assurance from my doctor, and he would always remind me that I already had one successful pregnancy.
As we continued on our fertility treatment path, mental images and negative thinking about my so called uniqueness threatened my ability to be hopeful and positive. We tried various options and the fertility journey came to a head on July 15, 2009 when we learned that we were pregnant with twins. How could my abnormally shaped uterus carry two fetuses? Now my fear turned into something else as I was forced to embody the experience. Quite literally. It was at that point that I made a very serious decision to shift my thinking.
I envisioned my uterus as a warm, red, spacious heart holding and nourishing two growing fetuses. It was hard work and effort to change how I saw myself despite still feeling some fear. Each day I would connect with my heart belly and I knew deep inside, everything was going to be ok. At 36 weeks, I gave birth to a set of boy/girl twins.
Since the birth of my twins, I now see my heart shaped uterus as a gift. Firstly, I got rid of the medical jargon, arcuate uterus. My heart shaped uterus is my uniqueness and it has fueled my passion and dedication for helping other women who are struggling to conceive. My story is one of hope and a letting go of fear. We all have a choice in deciding which thoughts we choose to listen to, and what meaning we apply to our experience.
