This is an Akuaba doll. I am not going to lie. My friend who was also struggling with infertility at the same time as me, bought one of these on her travels. Shortly after she got pregnant.
When I learned of her positive result, I quickly ordered one off the internet.
Sometimes when you want something so badly, you will find yourself doing anything to try to make it happen. Even if it means ordering weird shaped wood carvings of a woman off the internet.
An Akuaba doll is wooden carving from Africa. It’s a good luck charm and a symbol of hope for women who are struggling with infertility.
I remember the day it arrived. I broke open the packaging and looked the doll closely in the eye. She felt weightless, so light to hold, and inside I felt so heavy and depressed.
I found it helpful and healing to have an object representing my journey while I was going through it. For me, it was a form of emotional compartmentalization, but also a deep connection to other women who were also struggling with infertility. I felt as if the doll represented this journey of infertility, but also the journey of many other women. We are all tied by an invisible string and bound together with a common form of suffering.
Today my Akuaba doll sits in my son’s room. One day recently, he asked me what it was and I told him the story. He was very interested in it, especially in the part that other women may also have the figure in their home. He asked me if she helped him become born, and I told him we would save that for another day.
You do not need to order an Akuaba doll off the internet, but sometimes it can be helpful to use an object as part of your fertility journey. This object can represent what the experience means for you. You will see the experience will change but the object very much remains the same.
Are you struggling with infertility? Do you live in Toronto? Our next Mind-Body Fertility Group is coming up in the fall.
Learn emotional coping techniques and mind-body practices specifically geared towards your fertility journey.