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Finding Your Path: More Than One Way To Become Parents

*Names have been changed to protect privacy Can I tell you about my work? I……

*Names have been changed to protect privacy

Can I tell you about my work?

I don’t mean the mechanics of what I do day to day, I mean the beautiful, the painful, the failures and successes of what I get to experience as a fertility counsellor.

The truth is there is no one story when it comes to helping couples struggling with infertility. The tales are as diverse as the people who are part of them.

This morning, I was enjoying my coffee and randomly checked out the Facebook profile of a former client *Jennifer. I’m not sure what brought me to her page, maybe just because I hadn’t heard from her in a while, there she was proudly holding a brand new baby in her arms. I felt instant joy.

A couple of weeks ago I was struck again in my Mind-Body Fertility group. A woman shared with me how our group has changed her way of thinking. She went from feeling engulfed and isolated by her own despair, “Me”, to finding a greater sense of “We”. Through the group she had found a community who understood what she was going through, she was no longer alone.

On Mother’s Day, I met two sisters. One was hoping to donate her egg to her older sister who had struggled with failed fertility treatments for three, long years. What an inspiration for me to see the love between them. They were taking on the struggle with infertility together. It was beautiful to think about the prospect of one changing the other’s life forever.

I will never forget *Stephanie. A friend who sought me out because she knew we shared the journey of secondary infertility. Over coffee, she decided to give the Mind-Body Fertility group a try. Stephanie was 41. After several losses, numerous failed IVF treatments and even surgery to remove a septum in her uterus, she emailed me to say she was expecting twins. I was ecstatic! This journey took three years but she stuck with it. We kept in touch her whole pregnancy and she’s doing really well.

It’s not all women, men contact me too, but many of them do it in person. They are just as affected as women and bare their soul and often shed a few tears. I get to help them break through the despair and see a light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s not all happy endings of course. There are always stories of heartache and loss. We really can’t have one without the other. I always joke with my clients that it’s all about divine timing. It’s a bonus when fertility treatment works right away but ultimately we aren’t in control. It’s about taking care of ourselves and nurturing the human experience in all its forms.

Thank you for letting me be there for you.

Love,
Amira

Amira is a fertility counsellor in Toronto, Ontario. She works with individuals and couples who are struggling with infertility. Amira facilitates the Mind-Body Fertility Group  at Mt. Sinai Hospital.

She is also a mother of three miracles.

For more information,
visit www.healinginfertility. ca
and find her on

Twitter and Instagram.

Amira Posner

Amira Posner is Clinical Social Worker with a Bachelor and Masters Degrees in Social Work from the University of Manitoba. In addition to working with individuals, couples and families providing therapy in a secure and safe setting, she is a member of the Ontario Association of Social Workers (OASW) and Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers (OCSWSSW). Amira is also a certified hypnotherapist.

Amira Posner

July 7, 2023 • 3 minutes

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