I use the “Rain Technique” as a tool for clients, to help them transform their relationship with the negative feelings that “arise and fall” on their journey towards conception.
Part of human nature involves emotional pain from anxiety, self-criticism, worry and negative thinking. Modern science examines the neuroplasticity of the brain and how deeply engrained beliefs about ourselves and the world around us are hard wired into our neuro-network. What does this mean? Do you ever feel like you are running on autopilot and that your thoughts and reactions control you? The good news is that we all have the capacity to create new neuro-pathways and change the way we think and react.
I once read an advertisement that said “don’t believe everything you think”. I imagined myself as a large mountain with clouds moving above me. I, as the mountain, never moved, but the clouds, like thoughts floating through our minds, continued to circle around me. There were dark clouds, fluffy clouds, and of course the sun and rain. As the mountain, I remained still.
The RAIN technique, outlined below, was created by a group of Buddhist teachers. I use it widely in my practice and have observed magnificent results. The technique offers mindful awareness to emotional pain, negative thinking and destructive patterns. Below is the core of this technique. There is an emotional freedom that exists in using this technique. However, it takes commitment and practice.
R: Recognize the emotion that is troubling you and pay attention to it without adding judgment. Naming it and giving it permission to be there is a first step. For example, if you are feeling nervous or anxious, simply whisper to yourself, nerves, or anxiety.
A: Accept that this is the present reality. You may not like it or enjoy it, but the alternative to not accepting this moment, only augments the existing tendencies towards negativity.
I: Investigate your state with compassion. Once you offer acceptance to just being, you can delve deeper and explore more. What caused me to feel this way? Has it happened before? Where do I feel it in my body physically? Sense your gravity and feet on the ground. What do I need to get through?
N: Non-identification flows from investigating uncomfortable emotions with compassion. As you give yourself permission to accept and relate differently to your distress, new pathways form. You will begin to sense that you are not your thoughts but merely a vessel for them to pass through.